To a point I do agree with some of your comments and if I sit down and really think about it all… …Ohh boy, what a mess.
In a hospital setting primarily they look at the physical person ie do your limbs work? do your eyes work? etc, etc. The psychological and emotional impacts are often left to the individual to manage.
Initially, post surgery I was too busy managing my physical symptoms, of which there were many, to be thinking of much at all. I must admit I had a very good support system around me which helped immensely, but after a couple of months I was left with ‘Me’ and I started thinking, going over and over and over it all WAY TOO MUCH. It was driving me crazy and I needed help. I needed to ask for help and for a stubborn male like me, that wasn’t easy.
I spoke to my pcp and he made a referral to a counsellor and we were able to work through a few things. I have to say here, when I talked to some people about it all, they looked at me like ‘WHAT? That can’t be happening…’ they had no idea of the realities of it all. Let’s face it, not everybody goes through something like this. The common idea is you have an injury, you rest, you recuperate and life goes on. Only that wasn’t the case for me, it was like someone pressed reset and the former ‘Me’ evaporated. So now what? And this has been a huge battle for me. Now what?
I’m not going to tell you ‘it gets better’, for some, sure, it gets better, but for some it doesn’t. Have things improved from the initial injury/post surgery? Yes. Am I back to my former self? No. Will I ever be? I don’t know, but I strive for better and that’s about as good as I can get. It gives me something to aim for ahead of me, improvement. For a while I kept looking behind me at what had happened, why and who to blame. A long time ago someone told me “If we keep looking behind us all the time, we trip over the little things right in front of us.” I need to be looking at the ‘now’ in front of me and less at the ‘before’ behind me. I can’t change what’s behind me, just focus on the here and now.