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Traumatic Brain Injury

Close to breaking point. :(

#1

I am not entirley sure what happened and how it got to this point of my life where I am not motivated to do positive things. I do notice this dread feeling though from before I was on Setraline. I came off of them after 3 weeks because of anxiety. Has anyone ever felt like giving up?, like there is no point in life especially after many years of trying to sustain happiness failing terribly at that I am. Falling very deep in to the black hole drowning. Many years later my life has become worse not easier and it is very challenging to be understood. What is the point of functioning in life? I dont see anything other than functioning to end things. I am very fed up with everything. I can’t become an alcoholic or I would have done by now thanks to my epilepsy. I gave up smoking a year and a half ago so cannot do that or I start again from day 1 trying to quit. I won’t touch drugs so I am distraught for the rest of my life because I am scared to commit suicide. I get disappointed waking up in the morning feeling that I am being punished. All I do know is this stupid Tbi has ruined me for good. It happened when so young, I am going crazy with my thinking. I must be awful even another said I am crazy. I hate myself not even family understand me. I see this Tbi as a death sentence.

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#2

Hey Danielle,
Has anyone ever felt like giving up? Yes, been there. Not exactly a time I like to remember, but yes. I tried to drink it away, drug it away, even bury myself in work to get rid of it all. I, personally needed to get to a point where I could ask for help. This was difficult. I was always the helper, not the one who needed help and to admit that I needed help was very foreign. I’m a man and ‘men’ don’t ask for help. Stiff upper lip and all that, but I got myself into a great big hole. They say when you’re in a hole, stop digging. Not me. I used to carry this (metaphoric) bag of rubbish around with me, all the bad stuff I’d been told over the years. Every now and again I’d pull something out of the bag and bash myself stupid with it (digging the hole deeper) and making myself feel even worse. Eventually I had to get to a point where it was obvious I wasn’t dealing with ‘life’ very well and say “HELP”.
That was the first step. From there I could start climbing out of my pit. It was not easy but I had to talk to someone outside of me and outside of my circle; Someone professional, a counsellor. For me, going over and over the same thing inside my own head was simply destructive, I needed to get it out of me and I couldn’t do that alone.

Please, ask for help. If you can not find it the come back here and ask. Someone here will assist you to find the assistance you need in your local area. After I dealt with my ‘load’ I started helping others and eventually, after quite some time, got a job assisting others to access services they needed. So please, do ask. As I say, it used to be my job and although I do not work now, I am more than willing to assist you to get some help. There are people who will help, it’s just finding them. I can help you find them. All you need to do is ask.

Merl

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#3

TBI is a sort of dying. Parts of what I used to be has died. I try now to focus on who I am (try to be) now. My cognitive abilities change on a daily basis, so I reboot in the morning and pick something I’m pretty confident I can accomplish. It all begins there for me. Never stop trying to grow. Blessings

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#4

Thank you Merl, I will be going to the doctors on Monday. I have got an appt with the comunity head injury team finally in Febuary. This shoupd help me progress further. Afte all tyese years without on my own has been difficult coping.

It is great people on here understands me like I do them except everyone else. It can be very isolating mostly, this morning I couldnt bring myself out of bed but did manage with some persuasion. I went out for some lunch intending to go grocery shopping but sadly my epilepsy had taken a turn for the worse leaving me very embarrased. It must have been because these past few days being very stressed.

I focused on maths past papers tonight.

I have got an awesome goal list stuck on the fridge my aim is to do. I think accomplishing will help me grow.

Thank you for being helpful.

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#5

This is a good way to live only I get overwhelmed with the fasination of how great my life should look only in reality it doesn’t match. Self confliction issues hmm… Not sure how to try to overcome?.

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#6

Didn’t overcome, let go of expectations about how things should be. Still a struggle not to compare to a nonexistent standard, as well as I free myself to be me today, whatever that may be. Self-doubt seems inevitable withTBI, I’ve learned the past is illusion, be a warrior against doubt. It will never be easy or easier or all better. Take what we have and live it fully, as best we can each day.

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#7

focus on healing. Think about foods that actually help the brain. Broccoli Cauliflower

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#8

yup, broccoli and cauliflower, and foods with Omega3 like salmon. Turmeric is really good too. Study up on BRAIN Food here in ComputerLand

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