Dealing With Dissapointment

[Danielle]

It has been a while since I last posted, fast forward it has been a horrendous day omg. I was on the employment programme and this certain adviser I didn’t see eye to eye with at all. Well it ended with me leaving early, not going back to for the rest of the week. This is my choice and think it is for the best.

How do others deal with feeling overwhelmed with everything new like the prospects of employment. One side wants to very bad yet the other tells me not to because of misfortune.

I am on this programme voluntry due to circumstances.

I really wanted to better myself pushing forward in life. Instead of all I am getting is defeat.

Of course I want to succeed in life but it is challenging. It doesn’t help with a complicated partner to deal with. He works. I want to be like him so much.

I will go to the gym tonight to clear my head.

I was eating healthy these past days but after this incident I brought some buscuits. It feels like I am loosing control of myself bit by bit.

I start back to college tomorrow after the summer break. Then in October with the OU.

The absence of not feeling for filled saddens me. How do others overcome this?.

Thank you for reading.

[Occipital]

Hi Danielle. Sounds like your day was horrible. Hopefully it is over now?!

You should do what makes your happy ands safe, so leaving sounded like the right thing. If something else will make you happy, then pursue tools and approaches to get what you want for that too.

My techniques for dealing with the overwhelmed feeling are: totally avoiding it, numbing out with food, talking to my psychotherapist and other professional friends, doing breathing practices to control anxiety, and getting feedback from trusted and safe people.

We kind of forget how many mistakes we made in life pre-injury. We made so many that we eventually we pretty much knew the right thing to do. Or at least, we only knew a few ways to “do it wrong”, which is the same as being an expert at how to do it right :). In our new normal the tally of stuff we know we should do, or not do, got reset. So when we push forward it will feel like we are going against huge odds. But it is really just making enough mistakes until we “settle in” to what is right for us.

It is hard to not have employment. We lose our social structure and just plain old contact in the world. That is hardest for me. I’m working on new ways to connect with the world and it is a work in progress and sometimes I am happy with the progress and other times I get pretty frustrated and sad about it too. Those feelings of not being good enough they come and they go. I don’t need to deny it, but, I can say that I try to give the bad feelings a time-limit. So I say to them “I hear you, say what you will, and, I will give you 5 minutes”. Take control back, and, still feel what you want. Just control it. You are human and you feelings, and sometimes we need to feel them. Other times not. It is your call just make sure you are the judge, not your mind.

I call sweets “mood stabilizers”. So is walking and fellowship and other stuff. So my plan is that I gotta have something to calm me down. Obviously high carbs present new challenges but usually it is worth it :P.

Know that when you go back to class we are all rooting for you and we are very proud of you, too.

[Syd]

Danielle,

You ask, “How do others overcome this?” You are asking about overcoming disappointment and the sadness within this. For me all of life has “told” me who I am not, which created feelings of depression and alienation from myself and others. I am also a high-strung individual and my intense involvement in my relations with others caused me to lose perspective, finding hidden meaning and causes everywhere. From this I have had to learn to accept my nervous system and my limitations within this. Acceptance, for me, is the key, and this self-acceptance appears to offer this responsibility for developing ourselves within the limitations of our talents.

[Danielle]

Hiya,

I was having a very low moment with my depression, currently it is somewhat steady. I am working up to the right time to leave it isn’t easy. Even at the age of 33 things get harder. I am going to start going to the gym from tomorrow already packed ready. Before when I did this life wasn’t as depressing, I have written out my goals and one of them is to get a part time job. Even though it didn’t work out before I will try again.

I see what you mean how not having a job can feel.