Thank you for responding and I appreciate you communicating how you feel “useless most of the time.” Your words touch the core of what I have experienced from my brain injury and your words remind me how I was looking for ways to escape my crushing negative self-consciousness. My brain injury always made me feel inadequate, defective, confused, and racked with self-doubt. The hard part for me was feeling defeated by life and seeing no way to come back to life. I just want you to know I am sorry for this torment you are experiencing and how you may feel everything is cutting you deeply.
I want you to know I cannot begin to fully understand your pain and suffering of being “told” who you are not. Yet I do believe you can tell others how life has told you who you are not and how you had to live with this. I feel you have this ability to have double vision about life on human nature. This is the noble part about you, as you appear able to be aware of yourself in your individual conciseness. This quality within you is mysteriously you and is life-enhancing. It appears in your awareness.
If possible I feel we need to develop this gift in you and I am calling it your awareness and is completely mysterious. Your awareness appears to have a high-level of consciousness and in it you offer inspiration to people. This is an important quality and everyone should try to awaken this within themselves. We need your high-level of consciousness and the human race needs this from you. So how can we develop this gift within you for humanity? How can we express your self-awareness without making you feel this distance between yourself and everyone else? You appear to know the absurdity of life and human behavior, so how can we bring this to light? The simplest way I can say it is the depth of your awareness is like a bottle washing up on the shore of consciousness and so how can we give expression to your gift?
There is a richness within you and how can we acknowledge this value? How can we develop your talent and making you an outstanding individual in some way? What can make more of yourself, because truly you embody something excellent? It appears to me your awareness could help others to develop their potential and help others attain the qualities you embody.
I also think your awareness is not geared toward self-development, as it is just teaching others how to partake in the whole of life. So I ask you to just ponder this and maybe see if we can give your awareness within you, your good, expression to the world.