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Traumatic Brain Injury

Going Through Changes In Life?

I am going through alot of changes contributing to changing my life. As have had six years of mayhem in one way or another.

I didn’t feel completely satisfied.

I am taking up Maths, English and ICT again to refresh my skills. Also I am studying with the another soon long term.

It is time I just go for it now at the age of 31.

I also am looking to volunteer for a few hours a week, still searching.

Some times I do get anxious because the whole process isn’t fast enough. I want my life to change quickly. I feel disheartened then I feel down.

A few hours later I am back to focusing on my goals like now feeling good.

Has anyone got any advice please or simularites?.

Thank you.

Danielle,
You are making goals. That’s a big plus. It is so very easy to stagnate. I know for myself when I stagnate my mind travels at a million miles an hour and often not in a good way. My mind has the ability but my body doesn’t and I have in the past beat myself up, metaphorically, because I haven’t been able to meet my own aims. This frustrates me and I end up going around in circles. A bit like you I want things to happen NOW, but at times I have to sit and think “Is this within my control?” and more often than not the answer is ‘No’. I want to be right and I want it right bloody NOW :wink:
Some days I can be OK, other days I’m far from OK and on the good days I push myself (probably too much). I have to learn to pace myself and I hate it. I used to be able to ‘do’, no pacing needed, just get the job done. Now I find I can ‘do’ today, but if I don’t pace myself, tomorrow I’m in agony. So I have the drive just not the ability and that is very hard to accept.
I understand that you want everything to happen now, but once it all falls into place everything can be a little overwhelming. You have your goals and although you state"…the whole process isn’t fast enough…" slow it down because when it does start you won’t have time to think.
Merl

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Thanks for your reply, pacing myself is done because I have got no other choice. Like I was hoping to get one step closer today but the woman I need to talk to is off sick. So need to wait a few days for a call back.

Sometimes I think of other things to keep my mind off of the urgency like feeling.

The saying that patience is a virtue is true isn’t it?.

I see what you mean by to slow it down, I will embrace this more.

I use to hate that saying, but it’s true. It was the sort of thing my grandmother would say whilst I was waiting for dessert as a child and again she was correct, but I just meant I had to wait l o n g e r. As a child it was a torment.
But now I have old granny in my ear ‘patience is a virtue’ as an adult I want to tell her to ‘piss off’ but I think that’s because she was right (and I hate to admit it).
I was never a good patient anyway, ‘don’t’ always meant do, ‘slowly’ was never in my vocabulary and patients were in a hospital
So even years after my last (and most debilitating injury) I am learning s l o w l y that patience has very little to do with hospitals, but has more to do with old granny making me wait. The long and short of this is that I’m not very good either way patient nor patience, but I have had to learn. Only now it’s not old granny saying ‘No’ and ‘Don’t’, it’s my body.
I try to keep myself occupied doing something, but often when I’m on a roll I keep going and going. I may feel OK with it whilst I’m going, but when I stop, it keeps rolling right over the top of me and crushes me. Then I give myself a hard time about over doing it when I know I need to pace myself. I need to start slow and steady and at a gentle pace. Damn Granny, she was right.

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I get the same when others are right although recently I have relaxed about this.

I am slowy getting there, a date has been set to begin studying. I am excited and determind to face obstacles head on.

Although the last two days I was feeling down, I seem to be getting over it now phew. Have a great evening. :slight_smile:

They are exactly the same for me. Really, they are, and it is easier for me to say that flat out.

Your approach seems to be working out well. It did for me. And I would recommend it to anyone.

One funny thing happens to me: when I am over-doing it, when I am running low on energy, when I bite off more than I can chew… I feel I must hurry up because those things need to get done soon. But it is not timeliness, it is because… maybe I am scared? Or I am running out of steam and getting my “worst of the symptoms” that still remain?

So when that happens to me, I fall back to my priority todo list, and just stick with that. And if it means that I sleep for the rest of the day, so be it. I’m in this to win the marathon and I don’t care of I lose the sprint because I’m only competing with myself.

The spoon theory comes to mind here. So important. Critical. Essential. Absolutely necessary.

When I exhaust my spoons too quickly, I start to get that feeling I’m not doing thins fast enough. It creates kind of a vicious circle that is innocent looking, and I feel like I am actually catching up. Now may I am catching up, but at too high a price. I can’t think clearly. I get flustered easily. I get upset and angry way too fast.

So that is why I stick with the plan and always carry my “The Spoon Theory: Members Card” with me pretty much everywhere.