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Traumatic Brain Injury

Help me please

#1

Hi guys I can’t work because of my brain injury and I got compensation from it so I got an Audi Q3 my own family seem to have started to dislike me because I don’t work and have a nice car!

This is really getting me down as I would love to work I really would I feel so lost, I can’t help the way I am and I think people just look at me and think there is nothing wrong with me

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#2

Hey Chris,
This is not uncommon unfortunately. I too had family members very quick to pass judgement. I believe part of the problem is that for many of us we look ‘normal’ (whatever ‘normal’ is) but the reality of life for us now is far from normal. Trying to get people to comprehend this is near on impossible. I had one family member give me a real hard time and I had to pull him aside and explain some home truths to him. We are not in this position by choice. Some people may accept, but others never will. We can’t make them understand and trying to make them can only reinforce their selfish opinions. You would not have received compensation unless it was warranted and personally I’d say you have no need to be trying to justify any of this to anybody.
Here, in Australia we have a thing called “Tall Poppy Syndrome”(Google it), where people who have gotten ahead get cutdown by people who haven’t, people who are jealous. People who simply want to pass judgement because “You have a new car, an Audi, no less…” They don’t and that is jealousy. I keep getting told I have ‘retired’. RETIRED??? This isn’t retirement. I’ve been forced into this predicament, retirement is a choice, this ain’t my choice.
Now, I am not a religious man, not at all but there is a prayer called the serenity prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can and
The wisdom to know the difference”

The things you can’t change are other people, you can inform them, educate them but if they don’t want to hear you, you are wasting your time.
What you can change is you. None of us want to have a brain injury, we are not here by our own choice. I dare say you have tried damn near everything to try and get yourself back to the life you had. I have, but it didn’t work out well for me. Hell, if I could change my predicament, it would be done. But this is now my reality. Others may not comprehend this but that’s their choice. Only people who have truly been here have any idea what this is like.
When you have the wisdom to accept this (I hope) you’ll find peace.

This IS NOT an easy journey for any of us, but all you can really do is look after yourself. Others are going to judge whether we like it or not, we can’t change that, they always will. All we can do is get on with the life we now have.
The people who truly understand are here, come chat to us.

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#3

So do you think if you sold the car they would change there mind?..Maybe its more than just that?

As for work, it took many many years before I exepted not being able to do what I used to…Now there just distant memorys…

It would be good to talk to each family member one on one, and get to the bottom of things…My guess if you dont solve this problem it will only get worse…

Best of luck to you, and I wish I was allowed to drive!

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#4

It is possible that they don’t think any of these things about you.

Also what is the power and value of a thought anyway? Here is a test for you:

Think about a giant pizza that is the size of this universe. Imagine taking a bite about out of it. But the pizza is way too hot and your burn the roof of your mouth?

How do you feel about it? Do you feel bad? Does your mouth hurt?

We can think amazing things that are totally fake and unreal. Our minds are big liars and they don’t usually lie and say nice things. Mostly they say “loser” and other mean stuff.

So sometimes we can ignore it just like we ignore the universe sized piping hot pizza.

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#5

They just don’t understand. Tell them about your feelings and, and tell them that they are making you feel terrible when things are already so hard for you and that they just can’t understand what you’re going through and that you need them to help you by trying to understand what you’re going through, they need to try to imagine what it’s like to want to do things but be unable to do them and how you needed that new car cuz you need to have some positive things in your life because you’re so much less capable of doing most things now

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