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Traumatic Brain Injury

How have you dealt with letting go of who you were before your brain injury?

That is good news to hear. Remember it wasn’t God who left you down, it was the sin of the world. Although I don’t understand why bad things happen to good people in the long run I listen to others testimonies and hear what they have gone through it is inspiring and makes you think that my life experiences is not as extreme as what the person sharing their life experiences is all as bad what we all went through. Just have to focus on the positive things instead of the negative and prayer because there are people out living on this earth that has it worst than I do. Attending church weekly I found people who understands and accepts me who I am. I use to tell my children growing up that nobody can take your dreams unless you let them. They are blessings and special in how God sees them. God knows what we been through. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! I wish you the best and Fight On!

I didn’t cope with accepting my circumstances. I think that I might as well do the best I can with what I have got.

The other option is to battle with myself on a daily basis,I have accepted I get depressed some times but mostly positive. We are over comers, we can do this. :slight_smile:

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I have trouble coping and accepting my circumstances too. Living with TBI has been living Hell for me. I have anxiety, mood swings, people become frustrated with me because I am deaf so I have to ask them to repeat themselves. I feel so alone fighting this battle alone. Makes me angry at my brother who caused my TBI, although he explained to me it was an accident. Every time I go to the beautician to get a haircut they noticed the long scar on my scalp they ask questions which I prefer not to talk about it. The brother that caused my TBI, we haven’t spoken since the accident and that is over forty years. I try so hard to be normal but I feel like a failure…Since the accident I have trouble making choices, decisions. it hurts when friends and family walks out of your life that you thought they be there and support you. I am different now…I am not the seven year old girl anymore. TBI is part of my life now and I have been trying so hard to accept my circumstances, Believe Me!, it hasn’t been easy. Even it wasn’t for my faith, my trust in God I would gave up years ago but it takes all the strength I have to fight On!

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dparwaugh55,

Thank you for your kinship with us and thank you for expressing your sense of failure. My brain injury was at the age of eighteen, which made me feel lost and suddenly cut off from myself. Your injury was at a very young age and because of your young age this appears to have made you guarded and openly defensive, especially with your brother. How you communicate about your “long scar” on your scalp also appears as an expression of you being guarded and defensive. Our head injury makes our feelings confused and contradictory, from my experience. For me, when my feelings are tense I react aggressively, though I do not feel this from you. I will fluctuate between compliant and aggressive impulses, feeling that others like me and then do not. Or I like others then I do not.

In a certain sense, because of our brain injury, we are dealing with extreme anxiety. For me I can be extremely anxious about myself and anxious about others, sometimes even reacting aggressively toward others. Anxiety creates tension and for me creates aggression. Being passive may apply more to you, as I do not feel deep aggression in you or being edgy or living on a sarcastic note. So with this said and because of your trust in God it seems right to turn a page for you and to look at what is right within you.

You appear to have deep faith within you and this has nothing to do with beliefs or even convincing oneself certain beliefs are true. The faith I am touching within you is this actual support of presence you appear to express from within. Your faith appears like the sun and appears part of who you are. It cannot be lost. So to me, your faith does not need to make support happen because it is with you already. It does not matter if you were injured by your brother or not and it does not matter if you do not feel support from family and friends. What matters is your faith, it is felt within you like the sun, and this is your support.

I am going to go a little further to touch this realistic faith within you. There is a Divine Plan for you and it is happening right now. Sure you may wish to have had a better direction than what life has offered you, yet in this moment your experience of your faith is for your soul. From what I feel, from your simple consent to your faith, you are consciously participating in this unfolding of life for you. This offers great satisfaction. So I believe because of our head injury we need to learn the satisfaction is not in a particular experience, but is this presence to our faith that gives any experience it its satisfying quality.

Knowing this, faith appears to be what touches the soul and allows us to be part of a plan. It appears to me, rather than fighting on with all your strength, your faith communicates to me you have already arrived. There is no anxiety here, is a great peace, and appears to help us draw on a Deeper Source. Yet what is unique about you is I do not believe you even need to draw on this Deeper Source, as it is something implanted in your identity, like the sun from within you. You communicate the heart of faith and to me your realistic faith is your guide, shinning as the sun.

Thank you for your simple faith and this sun within you, which is something involved and complex for me. It is people like you who help me learn to surrender rather than react from my aggressive mind. What a gift, your faith that is nourishing and supportive.

My TBI was 41yrs ago at the age of 17. At that time I barely even knew who I was. I knew that everything would be knew so it was like starting over when I woke up from the 32day coma

I cannot remember that much about my personality prior the accident as I was very young.

My TBI happened 12 years ago when I was 27 years old. There were times during my recovery that I felt that I was another person in this body. Perhaps the biggest challenge in my life since the accident has been saying goodbye to my past. I’ve read articles about “what if” thoughts in our own minds. What if my TBI never happened? What would my life be like? I’ve walked down that road, and trust me, I wish I hadn’t. We just have a way of thinking of our past as if it was a paradise when in reality we always have had challenges and issues. Through about 5 years now I treat my life as if it is a fiction novel. My past was couple of chapters that I read through and now I’m actually writing new ones. I still have challenges that I face daily. But who said that life is fair? That goes for those without TBI. It’s what you do with it that counts.

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Great question and I will bet all have a different way?..Im close to 13 years, lost job, family, my sanity first 3 to 4 years.

I always say its the acceptance is the goal…Much therapy, yoga, meditation, being able to tell people or strangers what happened, or the odd side effects of accident…( and not be upset, cry,ect)

My latest acceptance is I will be alone the rest of my life…I tried hard, no woman wants a disabled guy…A guy with a service dog, now I have many friends many drop dead gorges women friends, but everyone keeps you at a distance…Thats ok, I have my peace and focus day to day to accomplish the little things…

When we accept ourselves, the other things are easier to deal and coup with.

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I agree DavOD, acceptance is the goal. We may have very little issue accepting some things, but other aspects can be a MASSIVE struggle and the judgement of others can be one of those MASSIVES.

Merl

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HeeeeY Merl, yup it’s me again, checking in, and you are still here. Hope you are getting along ok. How have things been going? Maybe someday things will work well again, or perhaps they already are and I don’t know how to do it. Let me know, take care, drop me a line

Hey Johnbarry,
Yea, I’m still here. It’s good to hear from you. I’m a bit like that bad smell you just can’t get rid of :grin::grin::grin:
“…perhaps they already are and I don’t know how to do it.” Ohh, I can assure you, you are not the only one who doesn’t “know how to do it”, me too. I have followed every direction, suggestion or clue given and I’m still in the same place I was 5-7yrs ago. For me, if I had a set starting point I might be able to progress. Today might be a good day at the start but 1/2 way through the day I become symptomatic, but then tomorrow I can wake up symptomatic and that just screws up my whole day. I quite simply can never tell. I believe it was you who wrote ‘Brain injury - You don’t know it until you have to live it’. I formerly used to work in the disability sector and, to be honest, thought I knew all about it. Ohh boy did I get an education. What I knew was all of the theory, all of the A+B=C stuff. The reality is far more complex more like A+B-CxD/E√Fx100… then subtract the number you started with??? What a mess.
If you ever find out how to do it, please tell me how.

Merl

I used to fight the change for a long time. I have limited memory of who I was before I obtained my TBI but, I have decided on attempting to help people. I volunteer once a week at a local library and I attempt but never finish crocheting scarves for the homeless. I have started many scarves but have never finished one ( I don’t think. )

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Hi @CrystalStar, it’s wonderful to see you post on here! Crocheting scarves is no easy task, so don’t be discouraged. It warms my heart to hear your story, what you are doing is tremendous. We would love to hear more about any goals you may have set for yourself Crystal!

I also see that you are undergoing cognitive therapies along with mental and physical therapies. How have they been for you Crystal?

Looking forward to hearing back !

Best
-Arjuna from ModSupport

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Thank you for your immediate response, I do not go to the therapies any more, I am in and out of psychiatric therapy often. My cognitive and physical therapies are up to me to maintain the progress I achieved in the past, I obtained my TBI in January of 2008, about 12 years ago. I have tried to keep fish as pets but, that did not work for me. I am going to get a snail tomorrow, and I hope I can keep it alive.

It seems to me that you are constantly focused finding different avenues to keep yourself busy @CrystalStar, which is awesome. It’s sweet you are going for a pet snail, that should help keep you occupied! How do you find having to maintain the benchmarks with those cognitive and physical therapies? Keep us posted Crystal :slight_smile:

-Arjuna

Hello again, been hearing about Some wildfire in Australia and wondered if you knew anything about that.
Hope you and the important ones are safe
Take care

letting go is not really an accurate way of looking at it.
I myself simply took it as ‘a new situation’ to cope with and adapt to. Each day is a new situation and life goes on
TBI … you only know it if you live it

Hey Johnbarry,
Yes thanks John, we’re OK (this year, a few years ago it was us under evacuation order, scary stuff I tell you). Those fires you are seeing are primarily on the eastern seaboard (Sydney side) of Australia. Although, there is now reports of fires on the western seaboard (Perth side) too. But the whole country is tinder dry, we haven’t had the usual winter/spring rains this year. Our country fire service has a website and from the moment my computer system is booted up, the CFS site is open, checking for local fires. We’ve had 3wks of 35C+ with 7 days in that time over 45C. It’s been NASTY hot. Those temps have removed any and all moisture. That heat hits me REAL hard so I’ve been hibernating under the air conditioning.

Merl

Aye Merl, glad you made it thru

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I remember one of my therapists telling me I will never be able to move forward until I accept this is the new me, oh boy, did I fight myself I’ve that!

I just wanted me back again, I still do sometimes and break down sobbing. It’s so hard.

I feel stupid, can’t remember hardly anything like there’s a block of wood in my brain, my decision and learning skills are terrible so I feel dumb in front of others when they look at me like “What!!??”

I’m so scared to try a job as when I have before, I come across very stupid, I think though (after the fact) that if I just stop thinking about being dumb I’ll cope better.

I know it’s the best thing to move forward and stop wishing I was the old me, my accident was in 2013 and my whole thinking has stopped me.

I am terrified of life and hibernate with my dog, the only thing I do is hike with him everyday.

Only me can change though, I know it.

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