Some people have a bit of an expectation that things will return to ‘normal’ (What ever the hell ‘Normal’ is), but we have to manage our ‘new normal’. I have found that others don’t always comprehend this. In a way, they have the idea that they’ll put up with our changes for a while. Then have an expectation that we will bend to their way later. The problem I have found is that those changes can be forever and some people are less willing to accept - Forever.
As I’ve said on here before, we are not in this predicament by choice, we have not had the choice of the ‘New Normal’ or the ‘New me’, we have had to adapt within ourselves and like it or not, we have to live with the ‘New me’. You, Danielle, deserve someone who loves, respects and accepts the ‘new me’ too. The changes that you have gone through have been huge, to be having a relationship where the expectations are for you to change again, that is a massive undertaking.
“Do I admit defeat?” Defeat is not, IS NOT, the way to be looking at it, at all. Our lives changed irrevocably in that instant of our injury. Would we change that? OF COURSE WE WOULD. We ALL would, but the reality of it all is we can’t. If an individual cannot accept us for who we are, now, then there is a problem and the problem is not you.
It is much better to be looking at where you have come from immediately after your injury until now. That journey has been filled with battles and successes, that journey takes strength. After such trauma we all perceive the world differently post injury. It is only the people who have been there who can ever comprehend the reality of it all. Others may have a level of understanding, but they simply cannot see things from your view and that can be difficult to accept for all involved. Personally I have found this has required a bit of give an take from EVERYBODY. Not just me, and not just them, but everybody. If the person you are with is not willing to make those adjustments and to accept those changes… ….then that is the question.
These questions are not easy, but these questions DO NOT make you an awful person. A relationship is a 2-way street, a bit of give an take from both sides, especially in times of need, support for each other, that is a relationship. Now is your time of need. That does not make you an awful person.
We are all here for you if you need, so please don’t be a stranger, come talk to us.