I am haunted by the fact that my girlfriend told me some weeks ago that she was scard of me. To go back in time I admitted my self into the hospital for review on the Psychiatric ward. I could not go on like I was going, my friends and family thought that was a sing of Suicide because of what I had said. I just needed help! What happened was a blessing, I connected with the Doctor I have now. The Doctor knows what I am going thru and is working to help me! I was asked to go home by the management at work prier to all of this. The stigme of going to the hospital follows me at work and in my personal life. I juess I am working thru it, at times its so hard! I hope its true that time heels all wounds, or allmost all wounds. Just needed to get this off my chest!!!! All in all the day was OK.
I am so proud of you for being so brave. I see this all the time in my work as a social worker. Sometimes the thing we are afraid of the most is what is best for us.
My daughter's TBI incident was 6 years ago, I have watched through time as her label of 'Handicapped' has made several of her 'friends' disappear. The good news is however, that the friends that are still around her are such a strong powerful force of support. I know it is so hurtful to her and the catch 22 that we have found is that she has to be blunt and say- "Hey, I need -----whatever." That is really hard for her, but it is getting easier. I continue to remind her that she would do the same for them if the situation was reversed.
Know that you are not alone and that reinventing yourself is a journey, it can be a terrible struggle or you can make it into an interesting challenge. Keep a journal daily of what works on good days and what seems to make things worse on the not so great days. It sounds like you have done the hard part- asking for help- just remember to be kind and love yourself.