Have to be…I trust in God who gives me the courage to be strong…to help me through tough times and through the trials I have to face each day. Some days it is not easy. I do get tired and overwhelmed and become frustrated. I am weak and He is strong!. I don’t or do I understand the meaning of why I had to go through what I had to experience so my conclusion that I come too, that gives me peace it had to do with the choices people makes in their own life, I had have made some bad choices too, had made some mistakes growing up also. It was a hard time in my life for me to find forgiveness for those who brought harm to me…It was through prayer asking God’s strength to find that peace and forgiveness. We are all human and have fallen short of the glory of God. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. For some things may come easy but for others living with brain injuries for me, it takes me longer to learn…to sink in…“In His love no walls between us. In His love, a common ground. Kneeling at the cross of Jesus, All pride comes tumbling down…by His love let the walls fall down.” I can only imagine my grandmother, and my father sitting by my hospital bedside praying over me in hope that I wake up from me laying in a coma…The many nights and days may have seem long for them…the wound upon my head may been deep, the waiting patently for the long four months to open my eyes…I believe living with TBI made me a better person…it drew me closer to God…I no longer have that quick good feeling from feeling sorrow for myself and feeling hatred, living with unforgiving heart…I have a deeper peace and Joy. Since I surrender my life over to Christ and became a Christian I am able to share my testimony and every opportunity God gives me to help others who lives with TBI…in hope it will encourage and uplift others to find peace and Joy…pray with them too. Examining my own life experiences I want to help others. It is hard out in the real world when you have people laughing, mocking you and may even hate you but instead of being hurt…by their words, I pray in the quietness of my home for them that whatever they are going through that they found peace.I have to learn to take baby steps and stop thinking I am gone to be the person I use to be before my head injuries. I am not gone to be that person anymore…If people can’t accept me than so be it.
You express an authenticity, a truthfulness, simply and genuinely. My experience of God has not been strength or God as a father figure. I personally feel God as absent and meaninglessness. I realize there is desert in the spiritual life and there are points of “God’s Waiting Room”, which are meant to teach trust. It seems to me, trust even gets down into this powerlessness and God becomes powerless. (The Christ seem to experience this powerlessness too, both emotionally and physically). This powerlessness is edgy for me, though I realize it is the heart of faith. The intolerable idea I have about God is this paradoxical nature of God. Maybe there is a meaning beyond and hidden depths in these paradoxes, but God telling me who I am not in powerlessness requires a high state than I have. Acceptance and peace is growing in my powerlessness and maybe this is a certain sense truth with God. This is just difficult to resolve and identify, and is outside of my control. When all is said and done I still want to say thanks for your trust in God and your serenity.