Wondering if anybody ever woke up feeling frustrated

I woke up this morning and I just felt frustrated. Looking back over the year's of my life. My accomplishments. Remembering all the many times how everybody around me is doing so much better in life than I am. Every since the trauma to my brain where my brother hit me with that 2x4 piece of board how since that accident how it change my life and my dreams.

I have always been the giver wanting to help people. Have always wanted to write a book of my biography of all the abuse I went through as a child in hope by sharing my story it may help other's. With living with TBI, I don't know where to start. Know how to begin to share my story because what stopping me is my learning disabilities. Still today, I still have a fear of my oldest brother. I have forgiven him but when we are in the same room together, he still belittles me, he makes me feel I am a nobody and feel like a failure. Of the things he says and how he thinks me, makes me wonder and think maybe he is right.

He just don't understand that he is the one who cause my TBI. He tells me it was an accident but yet I am not sure if it was in the way of the things he says. So I am second thoughts, wondering if it was an accident or did he do it on purpose. I will never find the truth or a closure to that because I can't remember. I do know sometimes I want to cry only because my other siblings shares memories of us growing up and I cannot remember those memories they talk about. I feel I was robbed from those memories and feel I cannot make good judgment. It is not that I have tried my hardest to hold down a job because I have but when the places I have worked at and have witness some sort of abuse I froze and could not do my job. I already feel bad about myself but my Adult children and two brothers make me feel like less of an human being.

I woke up frustrated because I cannot communicate well or think or as smart as my two brothers are and my Adult children are. I am very sensitive person who takes things to heart. So when my Adult children and two brother boast of all they have to make me only feel like a failure and a heel it just makes me wonder if they could be right. If I could be the person they wanted me to be I wish I could. I am tired talking anymore and sharing my feelings. Nothing is gone to change with how my brothers and Adult children think of me. Frustrated about my life and everything. I know I will get over this and it will pass and tomorrow will be another brighter day. I prayed. I just live with this fear of the oldest brother and that is what I am working on to overcome this fear.

i understand all of that. i feel that the words i say are not the right words and that they confuse people as well as myself. i am always asking if what i said makes sence. about 70% of the time i feel , my way of thinking , is like i was back in high school. and yes i feel frustrated , i dont feel my wife understands. that she just goes along with it and times she gets very mad. it would be nice if there was a commune for people with TBI

I really wish I knew what to say to make you feel better about yourself but I dont. I do know that I strive very hard to not make my husband feel stupid or less than he is. Yes sometimes it is frustrating on me to see him struggle and not knowing how things are to him since his TBI. But I know he has no control over this. Please give yourself a break, and know you are doing the best you can and be proud of your accomplishments.

You poor dear! I think your feelings about your TBI and your family not

really getting on board to support you through all of this are completely valid. I hate feeling stupid but I do...everyday so you are not alone in this. I am getting psychotherapy to help me get through the things I am suppressing and my son goes to therapy 3 times a week for his brain and body injuries. I think it is very important to be able to have someone to dump on and then help sort out everything I just dumped.

We too have memory problems big time. My adult children remember way more than I do so I just let them tell the story anymore...they tell it better. I sometimes get hurt feelings and I guess that is gonna happen. Pat and I were just talking about how much we have lost in memories and so then we go on the hunt for the old photo albums and that helps a lot to look through those.

It sounds to me like you suffer from PTSD from the abuse you suffered. You surely need to talk to a therapist. I am sure it would help you so much.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are a valuable person. Don't let anyone devalue YOUR life. And your ADULT children should act like adults and give their Mother the utmost respect. And while they are at it, give you the support you need and help you get the treatment you need and lift you up instead of tearing down what little you feel you have left. Honor thy Father and thy Mother...remind them of that!

Please be sweet to yourself today. I will be thinking about you!

PeacenLove~Always~Laurel aka gotTHATcall

First of all, please know how very proud I am of you to have the courage to speak out and admit your frustration and vulnerability. There are so many that are reading this having the similar thoughts, but are too embarrassed to admit them on paper. It is so important to recognize the difference between our personal issues and the issues of others(your brother's). I too was sexually and emotionally abused as a child. I didn't experience the physical trauma that you did (it is my daughter that has TBI). I have spent all of my career working with children and adults that survived childhood abuse. Abusers will emotionally believe anything they can in order to relieve themselves of the responsibility of abusing, usually they blame the victim. Please call a crisis center and ask them for assistance, for you will receive excellent therapy and support from experts. If I may, I would like to send you a personal message if you feel comfortable with me doing so(if not -I totally understand). Remember that you are not alone and that there are devices that you can get that can type your words with all the punctuation included. I believe that you have an important story to tell and you will feel so empowered telling it...dont worry about the blanks...Your story is what You remember and it will assist not only you,but others that have a similar story. You should see if you can get your hands on the book (They may have it on disk to listen to)" The Boy Called IT." His story is similar to yours. In the mean time, Love yourself and appreciate what you can do, forgive yourself for your limitations and learn to laugh instead of becoming angry. Is there any way to find a place with positive energy? Living and /or surrounding yourself with people that have anger will make your journey more difficult. Find your voice and you will find a new wonderful world. You are not alone!

My dad always told me growing up that only babies cry and if I cry it shows I am weak. So I hold back my tear's and wear a smile. I just wish I can remember the things my sister shares with me. I try so hard like today, I have one enormous headache. My smile hides my hurts, and the real pain inside and helps push back the tear's. I am not a baby nor am I weak. Wish everybody around me stay off my back putting on more pressure than I can handle. I can't remember, don't they understand how I want too remember those memories.

Crying is not a sign of weakness! I am so sorry you feel you have to hide how you feel. You may be the one with the TBI but I think your family needs to find a support group to help them learn how to handle this and how to help you. I have become to look at my tears as the strength to carry on pouring out of me. So I can help my husband through another day.

well I am the fourteenth child out of 15 children my mom and dad had together. It seem out of the fourteenth children I was accident prone according to what my dad would tell the doctor every time he had to rush me to the hospital which was pretty frequently. Hospital became my second home. I had a lot of accidents when I was a child. I can't remember them so I can't say if they were accidents and probably some were but probably some were not. I do know it has numb me inside to be able feel compassion and cry. Nine children died before I was born and my parents would never talk about their deaths. Tenth daughter died at the age of 51 year's old from cancer. She had TBI too but hers was due to being married to abusive husband. He would hit her in the head a lot where she started having seizures. It grew on me how my family treated me. I try to live a productive life without asking for help from none of siblings. The brother who has caused my TBI well we haven't spoken for over thirty year's. He living better life than I had growing up and I am happy for his achievements. Some days my brain just goes on and on where I may talk to much and than there days I don't feel like talking. When those days where I talk to much I am very hard on myself and tell myself Why didn't shut up. It like my brain did the talking and would not stop. I can't change what happen to me the past, it became part of my life so I had to learn to live with it and that is what I do today. I was hit in the head a lot as a child. I better stop talking, I talk to much. Sorry. Thanks for listening

My TBI happened almost 20years ago while I was working at a convenience store. I was robbed,kiddnapped,sexually assaulted and shot twice once in right leg and another behind right ear.There hasn't been a day that I haven't woke up frustrated. Since my injury I have gotten married and had kids. Please try and not let your family and friends victimize you because they don't understand. You have a brain injury your not stupid. I often struggle with feeling not feeling as smart as everyone eles but woke up one day and deiced that if someone didn't like me cuz I was a little slow then I didn't really need them in my life. Don't let anyone make you feel like your less because your not. Your pretty and smart god does make us in his inmage ;o)

Thank you Connie for the encouraging and uplifting words. I go to see Ms. Kay who she is a social worker who worked with me for year's who helped me to talk out my angry and things I bottled up way to long. I back and seeing her again. One things she said today in our session that I have build a wall up around me, my way to protect me of getting close to anyone. work on trying to break that wall down little out a time. She reminded me how strong my faith is that keeps me going and strong. I just needed I suppose reminded of that.